Should Parents Keep Secrets From Each Other?
I’m a mom of two girls ages 3 and 5. Recently the older one has been asking me to not tell my husband things that happen between her and me. So for example – on the way home from camp yesterday she misbehaved and had to do a short time out. About an hour later, she asked me to not tell her dad. She said if I told him she’d be embarrassed (he’s not much of a disciplinarian and doesn’t yell or spank her). I feel bad hiding things from my husband but am wondering if maybe it’s ok that certain things stay between kids and me. Would love some advice. Thanks!
About Parent Talk
When it comes to the challenges of life with kids, who understands what we’re going through better than other moms and dads? In FITL’s Parent Talk, we’re sharing questions and dilemmas that we receive directly from you, our readers. We encourage you to add your thoughts, reactions, and advice in the comments section below. Have you been through something similar, and how did it impact you and your family? We’ve got only one rule in this section, and that is to choose your words wisely. No meanies, please!
Submit your questions here! All submissions are confidential.
Prior Parent Talk Questions…
Should She Stay or Should She Go?
![[description - what is this]](http://familiesintheloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/the_mark.jpg)
I usually say that if you need to keep something a secret, then you know it’s wrong. She shouldn’t feel the need to hide something from her father. Maybe you need to talk more about what it is that she is feeling and why, and explain why secrets are bad. Have you talked to your husband about what she says? Secrets at this age MAY only be harmless, but as she gets older they can harm friendships and eventually possibly turn against you. Start teaching now with what you’ll expect in the future, while it is easier!